Raven's Dance

The Tide

2006-10-23T22:33:00.000-07:00

I try to swim through the confusion,
But the tide is way too high.
I try to count each and every day,
But all I see is the dark night.
The waves seem to keep rising higher,
The current keeps dragging me down.
If I don't find my refuge soon,
I am afraid that I will drown.
I try desperately to hide my true feelings,
It gets harder each passing day.
I want to get this off my chest,
But I don't know exactly what to say.
I am afraid how things might end up,
A friendship could get tattered.
I feel so completely lost inside,
My soul is broken and shattered.
I fear that I may end up alone,
Not a single friend to my name.
And walk through the rest of life,
With my head hung down in shame.

Hidden Feelings

2006-10-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

There is something in his eyes,
A certain light that I can see.
That makes me feel deep down inside,
This man is meant for me.
I don't know how to tell him,
I'm so afraid that he'll get scared.
And I will miss all the moments,
In the future that could be shared.
I want to hold him in my arms,
To feel his heart beat with mine.
And wipe away his tears of sadness,
Until all the pain is left behind.
We already have a really strong bond,
And the love of a different kind.
I want to make this man so happy,
And give him the best love he'll ever find.
I don't know if I will ever tell him,
I think these words say it all.
I want to be the one to catch him,
If he ever again should fall.

What I See (January 1, 2006) A tribute to a dear friend

2006-01-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

You wear a mask of smiles,
Your happiness is just pretend.
Searching desperately for the chance,
For your broken heart to mend.
Confused, abused, and tattered soul,
Not really knowing where your life will go.
All the lies you are constantly told,
Your broken life spins out of control.
You don't know what you truly deserve,
You settle for the next best thing.
But lies and deception along the way,
Is what the new relationship will bring.
You are intelligent, you are loving,
You are also patient and kind.
Seek total and utter happiness next time,
And leave all the emotional baggage behind.
You are on a path to self destruct,
And will hurt innocent lives along the way.
Not even the complete realization,
Of what a heavy price there will be to pay.
Next time around on life's new journey,
Slow down and take your time.
All good things come to those who wait,
And eventually it will be your turn to shine.
Take the chance to put yourself first,
Every once in a great while.
And when you look at the people around you,
Try giving them a genuine smile.
You are a great and wonderful man,
You will end up with what you desire.
Committment, honesty, and trust in life,
Are the things that will never tire.

To my dear friend...you now who you are...I love you and wish you all the happiness you deserve!!!

The Westin (5/10/2004)

2004-05-09T23:54:00.000-07:00

Passion,
A strong driving force.
Desire,
A wanting deep within.
Ecstasy,
A feeling of pure bliss.
Bodies intertwining,
Flesh pressed hotly together.
Breath catching in my throat,
My body going numb with excitement.
Electricity sparking with every touch.
Sweat glistening on the skin.
Soft lips pressed longingly together.
Tongues exploring each others mouths.
Trailing kisses down every body part.
Lips leaving no flesh unexplored.
Goosebumps all over my body,
Making my rosy nipples taut.
Fluid dripping from my body like honey.
You tasting all the sweetness.
Rolling your tongue around,
Making me writhe in delight.
Grinding myself into your tongue.
It's driving me wild.
Making me light headed.
My mouth going dry.
Gasping for my breath,
With every taste you take of me.
I've never been so excited.
Never felt such pleasure.
No words in the world to describe it.
I want you like I've never wanted anyone before.
I roll you over, to return the favor.
Your hard cock pulsates with your elevated heartbeat.
I tease, I nibble, I kiss.
Finally my mouth takes you in,
You moan from deep within.
Your manly, sexual smell filling my nostrils,
Teasing my brain.
You going in and out of my mouth,
Sucking on you like a lollipop.
Filling my mouth to the fullest.
You can't take it anymore.
You flip me over and take control.
Positioning your gorgeous body between my soaked thighs.
You part my lips and begin to enter me.
My breath catches in my throat.
My eyes close with fulfillment.
You fill me completely,
A perfect fit.
Like our bodies were molded for each other.
Slowly rocking our bodies,
Grinding ourselves into each other.
Rasping breath, hearts beating faster.
We move our hips harder and faster,
Increasing the delight.
You put my legs on your shoulders,
Penetrating me deeper.
I fit you like a glove.
My clit hardening as your body presses against it.
Finally my body shudders,
The honey pours out of me all over your cock.
I want you to cum. I beg you to cum,
In and out, faster and faster.
Making me absolutely insane.
You tell me that you are ready.
You pull out and I bring you to my mouth.
You explode as I taste your sweetness.
I swallow every last bit of you.
Sucking on you until there is nothing left.
We both collapse, our breathing ragged.
Lying next to each other still caressing flesh.
We are satisfied.
Wonderful, pure bliss.
Nothing on Earth could be better.

The Man In The Mirror (W. Robert Harris)(My grandfather gave me this poem)

2004-05-02T23:58:00.000-07:00

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
and the World makes you King for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say!

For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
whose judgment upon you must pass,
the fellow whose verdict counts most in your life,
is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you a straight shootin' chum
and call you a wonderful guy
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
if you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind at all rest,
he's with you clear up to the end;
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
if the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole World down the pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
if you've cheated the man in the glass.

This pertains to everyone that is why I like it so much!!

Borrow (6/9/1997)

2004-05-02T23:49:00.000-07:00

Roses and their beauty,
just aren't meant to last.
Like our childhood joys,
they fade into the past.
Kissing in the sunshine,
was something we abused.
It's ended now in bitterness,
and made me feel so used.
Empty words were our only bond,
even that exists no more.
I gave you all I had to give,
but what did I give it for??
Not so you could break my heart,
not so you could leave.
Not to hear the lies you told,
hoping I'd believe.
I thought our love was stronger,
that we'd be together always.
I guess I was wrong about everything,
there's nothing left for us.
My mind and soul are out of place,
it's so hard to face tomorrow.
I miss your strength, I miss your touch,
Love is now something I borrow...

Wanting More (3/1/1997)

2004-05-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

It started out as friendship,
But I wanted so much more.
And now that we are together,
Life seems better than before.
The times we had together as friends,
Are faded memories.
The future starts our new romance,
Our destiny agrees.
I'll still be here to care for you,
And help you when you are down.
You can come to me for anything,
I will always be around.
But now I can embrace you,
And kiss you tenderly.
And hear you whisper words of love,
I never thought could be.

Children Learn What They Live (I didn't write this, but it is one of my favorite poems)

2004-05-02T23:31:00.000-07:00

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance, and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

Untitled (2/14/1997)

2004-04-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

My heart is aching so very bad,
like it has never done before.
I gave you all I had to give,
if only it could have been more.
It wasn't enough to keep you here,
had to leave my world so blue.
Left me with no life to live,
and what did I ever do?
I did not deserve the lies you told,
wishing I'd fall for each one.
Until the day the truth came out,
and you said that we were done.
I'll never forget the love we shared,
that will forever endure in my soul.
Now that we are done and through,
my heart is a big, black hole.

Over Now

2004-04-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's over now
But I can breathe somehow.
When it's all worn out
I'd rather go without.

You know it's been on my mind
Could you stand right here
Look me straight in the eye and say
That it's over now

We pay our debt sometime

Well, it's over now
Yet I can see somehow
When it's all gone wrong
It's hard to be so strong

We pay our debt sometime

Guess it's over now
I'm alive somehow
When it's all out of sight
Just wait and do your time

You know it's been on my mind
Could I stand right here
Look myself in the eye, and say
That it's over now

We pay our debt sometime

Dream (9/13/1996)

2004-04-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

Constantly I dream of that moment.
The day which my illusion shall come true.
The desire just buries itself internally.
To the deepest, darkest hole within.
I cannot maintain this act much longer.
Not showing these feelings I sense.
Someday, I know I shall realize.
That not all of our wishes come true.
But I'm still determined to keep believing.
That someday you shall finally choose me.
You shall see through all the material things.
To what's really deep, down within.
You'll perceive how much you mean to me.
But for now it's all just a dream.
I don't know if it shall become real.
Or if it shall only endure in my mind.
All these sensations I've never groped.
Continue to confuse me so much.
If only they could become transparent.
To show me how I genuinely feel.
But for now I can only dream of that moment.
The day which my illusion shall come true.

Reality

2004-04-08T00:11:00.000-07:00

A pile of letters never sent.
The thoughts of dreams I have lent.
A bunch of unfinished stories.
A life of untold, and untouched glories.
The withering roses on the table.
Evidence of a living fable.
The fairy tale.
A life for the unfrail.
Enchanted woods filled with laughter.
The Prince and Pauper living "Happily Ever After".
No one imagined they were one in the same.
Until the realization of life's unreality came.
Though the pieces of the puzzle may not always fit.
Change your outlook and you just may make it.
Some are shocked by the reality of the unreal.
But the future is the result of how we feel.
Or for those who believe it matters anyway.
So for realities sake, hold on to someday.

Betrayal

2004-04-08T00:08:00.000-07:00

They said they would be faithful, true
they would never intentionally hurt you.

They said they would be honest, kind
protect you from those who play with your mind.

How could you have known that things would go so
wrong?

After caring and trusting these people for so
long?

And that the friendship was so easy to spoil?

They said they would be faithful, true
how could you have known they would betray you?

Missing You

2004-04-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

A candle burns at both ends,
a fire racing flame.
My mind is cluttered full of lies,
all your answers sound the same.
I don't know what to think,
too much is on my mind.
Nothing seems the way it should,
and I'm running out of time.
The wick is disappearing,
someone please tell me what to do.
My mind tells me it's over,
but I'm still missing you.

Curious and Thoughtful

2004-04-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am curious and thoughtful.
I wonder why there is no unity.
I hear a scream in agony.
I see the Grim Reapers shadow behind me.
I want to cry from sadness.
I am curious and thoughtful.

I pretend that I can fix it all.
I feel an aching for each loss in the World.
I touch a priceless piece of Earth.
I cry when I see pain, suffering, and death.
I am curious and thoughtful.

I understand we are all individuals.
I say society is conforming.
I dream that the World will come to an ending.
I try to make everyone happy.
I hope to find peace in the World someday.
I am scared and unsure.

Past

2004-04-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

In my past I was a little girl,
scared and unsure,
alone from the rest of humanity.
My age is of little importance.
My feelings are mixed.
Sorrow overwhelms my being.
But deep inside my heart beats.
Power, and self-confidence,
takes over my scared outer shell,
and lends a new beginning.

Me

2004-04-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

I am a river flowing strong, and free,
Carrying my spirit to the sky.
Like a wolf, I am brave, and keen,
My cry resounding in the night.
I am sharp, like an Eagle,
Soaring high in the sky, hunting my prey.
You can't touch me, for I am quick to flight,
Missing your grasp by seconds.
Trap my spirit if you can.

The Moon

2004-04-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

The moon is a means to an end, to a beginning.
Ending the day, it begins the night.
Hanging high in the sky.
Casting it's shadows all over the place.
It reflects a guiding light to all nocturnals in the wilderness.
As it sets, the beginning of dawn arises with the breaking of the sun,
and the ending of the moon.
The sun radiates on the Earth.
Creating warmth to a new day,
and the ending of the night,
with all it's mysteries,
that bask in the eerie glow of the moon.

I Am

2004-04-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

I am an imaginative girl who likes men and women,
I wonder if I will ever get the chance to do the things I want to.
I hear,
I see,
I want,
I am.

I pretend,
I feel,
I touch,
I worry,
I cry,
I am.

I understand,
I say,
I envy,
I dream,
I try,
I hope,
I am.

Cheater (March 27, 1997)

2004-04-05T00:53:00.000-07:00

He holds her hand while she is near,
Yet cheats while she is away.
Two lives are lead, and she's unaware,
Doesn't know who's heart he's won.

He's barely there, most always gone,
Spending time with someone else.
She doesn't know his other life,
Hears only the lies that he tells.

His other life is lead the same,
But I know there is someone else.
I endure to believe, he will finally flee,
So I can have him all to myself.

The day should have come, so long ago,
But he chooses two lives over me.
He knows that I will stay, through thick and thin,
No matter how many times I get hurt.

Little does he know that I am for real,
That I really, truly care.
He just gets what he wants, and goes on his way,
To the one that he thinks he loves.

But then I am back at home, feeling down and blue,
Knowing it was all just his game.
He just doesn't know the pain he has caused,
When he even just mentions her name.

I need to move on, let him live just one life,
Without living part of his game.
I only get hurt, by his childish lies,
And am caused such tremendous pain.

But I refuse to believe, that I am only being used,
So he can get what he's craved.
Though, deep, down inside, I know that it's the truth,
But I am hoping this love can be saved.

Dreams are all that are left in my life,
Nothing else can I perceive.
The lies that he tells me, will continuously blind me,
Because he knows that I will never leave.

Another Heart (March 21, 1997)

2004-04-05T00:42:00.000-07:00

I say we are united,
But in reality are far apart.
I say he truly loves me,
But he holds another heart.

I say he means it all,
But every promise is a lie.
I say he'd never hurt me,
But as I say it, I sigh.

He caused a lot of hurt,
But I refused to believe.
He only told me lies,
And said he wouldn't leave.

He said we'd be forever,
But "forever" didn't last.
He left me with no reason why,
And gave no second glance.

He knows just what he's doing,
When he says he loves the other alone.
He realizes it causes me pain,
When he says she's the only one.

I remember what he told me,
His lies were all the same.
I know he only used me,
While he played his little game.

I say I'm moving on this time,
But I refuse to let him go.
Afraid I will have nobody to love,
And be left here all alone.

Untitled (February 7, 1997)

2004-04-05T00:35:00.000-07:00

These last weary days drag on and on.
Oh, will they ever cease?
I've lived my life so many years,
But I've lived it to the least.
And now it's too late,
It's all going to end.
So many broken promises made,
That I cannot seem to mend.
My family's all gone,
Not a friend to my name.
Nothing to live for,
No fortune, nor fame.
I lie gently down,
I can feel it near.
I close my green eyes,
Down my cheek runs a tear....

Unanswered Question (August 25, 1997)

2004-04-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

One question I have,
That cannot be answered.
One question that burns in my brain,
Like a hot, searing branding iron.
One question that darkens my heart,
And puts a cloud over my eyes.
That question needs to be answered.
Because it may heal my shattered heart.
It may scab over my bleeding wounds.
Wounds that feel like salt has been thrown on them.
Unhealing wounds that deepen when I hear your name.
They pour out blood, these hurtful wounds.
That question springs to mind,
Every time I see lovers walking.
Every time I hear your name.
I think of that question.
That one hurtful, unanswered question.
The question that reminds me of how you used me.
The question that reminds me of how you hurt me.
Treated me like an unwanted outcast.
The question that I ask myself everyday.
That one hurtful question......
What good is living,
When all that you love is gone???

Lost (June 2, 1999)

2004-04-05T00:09:00.000-07:00

Lost in the darkness,
No shelter to be seen.
I'm looking for a light,
To help me to see.
I'm tripping on my feet,
Falling into the cold.
I pick myself up,
And I try to be bold.
Trying to get some courage,
To collect all my thoughts.
But I'm lost and I am struggling,
Grasping for anything to hold onto.
You are the creator of my darkness,
The one who has a light.
But you wave it in my face,
So that I must fight.
Fight to save myself,
Before I fail.
But your such an asshole,
Nothing but a typical male.
I'll find my light,
Even if it kills me.
Because I need that light,
To set my soul free.

Desperate (This is one of my earlier poems)

2004-04-04T23:53:00.000-07:00

Unanswered questions float through my mind.
With all the answers hidden deep within my heart.
The answers shall never be found I fear.
But one day I hope that love will answer them.
I'm desperate to find the answers.
My heart is desperate for love.
I want to keep him for myself.
Though he is not mine.
I'm black with jealousy whenever another talks to him.
I'm afraid to let him meet my friends.
I want him to remain in the dark.
So no one but me can see him.
So I can have him to myself.
I'm so desperate.
I'm reaching out and trying to grasp.
Grasp a life line to hold onto.
My desperation drives me insane.
So insane I am willing to hurt anyone.
I want to hurt him so he can feel what I feel.
I want to hurt anyone that stands in my way.
My desperation makes me crazy.
My desperation makes me confused.
I want to tell him how I feel.
I am afraid he will laugh in my face.
I hate him for betraying me.
I hate my desperation for what it's doing to me.

I wanted to put this up so that people could see the difference between what I used to write and how I write today. I wrote this poem back in 1997.

All I Ask

2004-04-04T23:47:00.000-07:00

All I ask is that you love me,
Love me for all the things that I am.
All I ask is that you realize the true me,
You need to do that before you judge me.
All I ask is that you understand me,
All the things I do are for a reason.
All I ask is that you feel me,
Feel my warmth and love come through.
All I ask is that you get to know me,
Know me inside and out not just what's outside.
All I ask is that you let me be free,
Don't keep me on a leash or in chains like a prisoner.
All I ask is that you trust me,
Tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine.
All I ask is that you need me,
Need me when you are down and sad.
All I ask is that you want me,
Want me for who I am and not my looks.
All I ask is that you love me,
Love me for all the reasons that I've stated.

I Love You

2004-04-01T23:47:00.000-08:00

It's late at night,
Candles smelling of lavender fill the air.
Shadows flicker on the walls.
The flames are softly illuminating.
You look into my eyes,
You smile and pull me close.
Then you put your hand on my heart.
You feel the quickening thud from your soft touch.
You cup my breast,
Then you slowly unbutton my blouse.
You nuzzle and tease my nipples,
Making their rosy tips hard.
You bring your mouth to mine.
I explore the sweetness of your mouth.
You taste soooo good.
I sexily take off your shirt.
I run my hands down your smooth chest.
You run your hands down my creamy, soft stomach.
Then you lower your face to the sweetness between my legs.
I moan and cry out in delight.
The passion is a driving force.
I run my hands through your silky hair,
Then I unzip your jeans tenderly.
I pull out your rock hard manliness,
I gently feel it in my hand.
You moan more insistently.
Then I bring it my mouth.
Our love making deepens.
I move you all around inside my mouth.
Rolling you around with my tongue, gently sucking.
You taste so good.
I want to devour every bit of you.
You trail kisses from my lips down,
Fire blazing from every kiss.
You make me so hot, wet, and sticky.
I want you to take me like never before.
The candles are flickering.
Our hard breathing creating the breeze.
We explore every inch of each others flesh.
Our breathing gets heavier.
The passion is increasing,
The force making us mad with desire.
Finally we take each other.
You fill me completely with your manliness.
Our bodies rocking in one fluid motion after another.
Making love until we reach the peak of ecstasy.
We finally collapse,
One sweaty body glistening on the other.
We feel as a whole, complete.
As if we've just become one being.
The love so great I cry from happiness.
The I whisper "I Love You", and you return it.
We are utterly satisfied.
And we sleep until the sun comes up and the candles die out.

Untitled

2004-04-01T23:37:00.000-08:00

This depression clouds me,
Like a dark shroud above.
A cloak of melancholy washes over,
Draping itself over my heart.
Tears fill up my eyes,
But the shiny pools won't spill over.
Pangs of anguish inside,
It's knotting up my stomach.
So lost within myself,
Feels like I'm drowning in misery.
Every night lying awake,
Insomnia is my best friend.
Praying constantly for the pain to end,
Thinking of countless ways to relieve it.
Always coming up empty handed.
My thoughts turn to dust.
The dust swirls away in the wind,
Like it's dancing and mocking me.
Making me forget who I am,
What my purpose in this life is?
Feeling like an empty shell.
Wondering if there is even a soul left.
Questions floating through empty space,
Hanging in the air like unsolved mysteries.
One day I will be whole again,
And find that long lost smile.
I think I need to just wait it out,
I know I'll find myself again.

Untitled

2004-02-15T12:31:00.000-08:00

It has totally driven me close to insanity.
A knock in the doors of the Omega.
So, bare with me as I cast loose my Demons.
All that of your consideration and not of pity.
As I wage war against Ares, a battle in Euterpe.
A fight I can't win. A fight already lost.
I, though torn and lifeless, am still waiting for Eros to come...
Hear my voice, heed my call I beg.
As I sit on this squeaky wooden chair.
Silently listening for the chariots to arrive.
Hoping one day that the arrow shot from his bow carries my name.
Hoping that the hunters eye is not blurred by time...
For missing is not an option given.
Hoping it hits me straight where it matters most...
Like that of patriots.
Hoping the arrow hits me straight in the heart...
Yes, straight in the heart.
For this, nothing else, I know is more than destiny.
And I am here to claim what is rightfully mine.
Here to claim what belongs to me and no one else.
Here to once again love myself.

Untitled

2004-02-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

I am nothing close to abomination from withtin
A lamentation's brew heated and boiling to a spill
Wretched and confined into reality's discriminations
Am I the demon that deserves eternal punishment?
Or am I just that of misfortunes best friend?
Why must I ask for forgiveness for all my sins, I ask myself
Should I?? Knowing that...
In ends time compassion's hand is easily at reach
And I still do. Discounting all the untouched questions, I honestly do
And still, I weep alone...
I persistently fold myself into a corner hoping no one sees my grief
Lucky is the walking dead, I say
For he, though alone, is unscathed by humans weakness
Numb to that of his surroundings...
The only envy of lifes hurting people.
Such blatant expressions I know I've said
I've kept these confined in my soul all this time.
Not knowing how much longer I can stay dormant
Not knowing when I shall erupt and unleash such motility
I just have to let it out
For they are far worse...
Far worse than running nails on a chalkboard.

Untitled

2004-02-09T11:20:00.000-08:00

Thy mask thy self in furtive lies, and that of hearts pretend.
Yet foolish pride and blinded eyes, awaits for love to mend.
Oh, absence clouds the morning tide, brings somber eventide.
Tis only thee by Heaven's gates, can free the stars of night.

I lay no blame on thee who wrote, of songs my heart desires.
For tis alone by love's mistake, abased the candles fire.
Though thee suppress in shadows cope, of presence in disguise.
Tis an Angel's face , that I see, thy beauty pine my eyes.

I dream not of, nor dare aspire, to climb of Angel's heights.
Tis on the ground where I belong, await the dawn of light.
But if dreams alone, make me feel, the love my Angel sings.
Thus, awake no more, so I may spend forever in thy wings.

Unfamiliar Face

2004-02-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

All that I look at,
All that I see.
Is a face that is,
Unfamiliar to me.
Looking in the mirror,
I see unfamiliar things.
A hurt and lost soul,
With shattered and broken dreams.
But what's this I catch,
Out of the corner of my eye?
A Sparkle of hope,
That is deep inside.
A light that is really faint,
A glimmer of hope that I've found.
That I only see,
Whenever you are around.
You are the glimmer of light,
In the darkness within.
The key to my happiness,
That shall help my life begin.
Now I look in the mirror,
At a familiar face.
The darkness inside,
Has slowly been erased.
Now that I have you,
I see my true self.
For you've come along,
To free me and give help.
This unfamiliar side,
I see in myself.
My light, my love,
The only one who could help.

A Tribute To My Grandmother Trueza:Heavenly Smiles(I Love You Grandma)

2004-02-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

Can you spare a smile? Mine has suddenly been
washed away.
I can't seem to detect it anywhere, though I've
searched night and day.
I believe my Grandma took it with her to her,
magnificent new home in the sky.
I caught a glimpse of her grin as I was sadly,
passing by.
I know it must upset her that she accidentally took
mine on her trip.
But wait, I witness something fall from the sky,
with a bounce and a flip.
It floated straight into my hands as I nervously
open them wide.
A smile breaks across my face with care, comfort,
and pride.
My grandma must have dropped it as she skipped the
clouds one by one.
I know she must be happy because a rainbow just
emerged from the sun.
So you can keep your smile but remind others to
share theirs with love.
If you happen to lose it one day, Grandma will send
you one from above.

A Tribute To My Grandmother Helen:Angel(I Love You Grandma)

2004-02-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

Your time with us has passed,
To us you are still here.
Just the way you've touched our hearts.
Is enough to keep you near.
Your passing was so sudden,
Not a real chance to say good-bye.
But I know you are looking down on us,
With lots of love in your eyes.
The warm rays of sunshine,
That touch our tired faces.
Will be the love you send from above,
All through our ages.
God has made you an Angel,
To watch us through the years.
For you to quiet down our sorrow,
And to dry up all our tears.
You'll be missed in so many ways,
But in our hearts you'll live on.
Till the day we are wrapped in your wings,
And our time on Earth is done.

A Tribute To My Father:Cherished Memories (I Love You Daddy)

2004-02-09T10:44:00.000-08:00

Playing games when we were little,
Easter egg hunts in the yard.
Racing us down the block,
At the table playing cards.
Decorating the Christmas tree,
Laying out on sunny days.
Dancing with me in the kitchen,
They will be missed in so many ways.
Never could we have known,
How little time was left.
Never got to say good-bye,
Just cherished memories to be kept.
We know you are not suffering,
And are not in any pain.
We will feel your love upon us,
If we ever dance in the rain.
Now you can watch over us,
And keep us safe and sound.
Just know that we will always love you,
Even though you are not around.

In Loving Memory:November 25, 1943-December 7, 2003

Understand

2004-02-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

Holding on too tightly,
To something that's not there.
I search for it night and day,
I know it's here somewhere.

Here it is I've found it,
All shiny and brand new.
It's been locked away,
Just waiting to be used.
(CHORUS)
The gun is cocked and loaded,
Sitting in my hand.
I want to pull the trigger,
Because you don't understand.

I look down the barrel,
It's laughing in my face.
I press it to my temple,
No longer a disgrace.

My finger slowly pressing,
Sweat getting in my eyes.
All those lies you told me,
My anger begins to rise.
(CHORUS)
The gun is no longer loaded,
It fell from my hand.
Because I pulled the trigger,
Maybe now you'll understand.

Trying To Mend

2004-02-05T23:43:00.000-08:00

My mind says run away,
But my body wants to stay.
I'm torn apart inside,
The pain is hard to hide.

I want to be close to you,
You don't have the slightest clue.
I try to tell you everyday,
In so many different ways.
(CHORUS)
Why do you have to be so blind,
A love like mine is hard to find.
You have it right in front of you,
My love is completely true.

You don't know what you do to me,
I'm trying so hard to make you see.
I've given you my whole heart,
And it feels like you've ripped it apart.

I'm slowly gathering the pieces,
As the wanting inside increases.
I'll put it back together again,
But it will never completely mend.
(CHORUS)
Why do you have to be so blind,
A love like mine is hard to find.
You had it right in front of you,
It's too late now...I'm through.

Victim

2004-02-05T23:35:00.000-08:00

You say you want equality,
But look at the way you've treated me.
Knock me down and kick me in the face,
Your a fucking waste of human space.
(CHORUS)
Pushed around and pushed away,
This is how you feel today.
How does it feel to be a victim like me,
A victim of this cruel society.

Too bad it's your turn to suffer like me,
You've exposed yourself for all to see.
I can't believe I've been so blind,
Now I'm leaving the bitch behind.
(CHORUS)
Pushed around and pushed away,
This is how you feel today.
How does it feel to be victim like me,
A victim of this cruel society.

Now I walk away with my head held high,
Leaving you standing there as you cry.
This is a lesson not taken well,
Just try to escape this unforeseen Hell.
(CHORUS)
Pushed around and pushed away,
This is how you feel today.
How does it feel to be a victim like me,
The victim of MY cruel society.

Falling To Pieces

2004-02-05T23:25:00.000-08:00

I try to keep my hate inside,
It's hard because it's you I despise.
I lay in bed cloaked in darkness,
The anger inside I'm trying to harness.
(CHORUS)
Betrayal flashes through my mind,
Wondering if it's sanity I'm grasping to find.
I'm falling to pieces inside my shell,
Someone needs to save me from this Hell.

The anger inside seeps from my pores,
You made me this way, you fucking whore.
My body shudders from limb to limb,
From this constant scream I have within.
(CHORUS)
Betrayal flashes through my mind,
Wondering if it's sanity I'm grasping to find.
I'm falling to pieces inside my shell,
Someone needs to save me from this Hell.

You say you love me though I know it's lies,
I can tell by the way you hide your eyes.
My love for you has slowly died,
Just like the way I'm feeling inside.
(CHORUS)
Betrayal flashes through my mind,
Wondering if it's sanity I'm grasping to find.
I'm falling to pieces inside my shell,
Someone please save me from this Hell.

Scratch The Surface

2004-02-05T23:17:00.000-08:00

Grasping in the darkness,
For a soul that can't be seen.
I feel trapped in different places,
Or lost somewhere in between.

Falling harder and faster,
Down into this black hole.
I need to find sanctuary,
Before I lose all control.
(CHORUS)
Clawing at the surface,
That doesn't seem to scratch.
Wishing I could find a way out,
But all my hope is fading fast.

You were always my strength,
Left without a good-bye.
Now I'm standing here weak and alone,
Feeling like I could die.

I will always think of you,
The farther down I fall.
I'm blaming you for everything,
Your the biggest bitch of them all.
(CHORUS)
Clawing at the surface,
That doesn't seem to scratch.
Wishing I could find a way out,
But all my hope is fading fast.

Building the Raven's Nest

2004-02-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

A safe place for Raven to sing. From her heart.